WHY WON’T MY BRO PAY MUM BACK?

Dear Coleen

My brother borrowed £3,000 from my mum last year to prop up his business and cover his mortgage.

He and my sister-in-law have been having money problems and their business hasn’t been doing too well, but I only found out about this loan a few weeks ago.

My brother had promised to pay her back but he hasn’t and she’s worried about confronting him. She’s always been soft with him and he knows he can get away with it.

His wife is often going away on spa breaks with her mates and their children always have immaculate new clothes, so I can’t see why he isn’t at least trying to pay her back.

It drives me mad he’s borrowed money from mum and is trying to keep it. I want to say something but she’s made me promise not to. Help!

Coleen says

If your mum has made you promise not to say anything, you have to respect her wishes. Money, whether it’s lending, borrowing or inheriting, breaks up so many families, friendships and relationships.

I can understand your frustrations, but I think you have to just stay out of it. If you say anything you may end up with your brother and your mum annoyed at you, and your mum may not confide in you any more.

I can understand you’re angry at the unfairness of it all, but bite your tongue and offer your mum some advice on how she can approach your brother about paying her back. Even if he does it gradually, month by month.

If that doesn’t work, suggest that you speak to your brother, and if you do, stay calm. Explain your mum wants her money back and wonders when this will happen.