I want to live as a woman but boss won’t accept it

Dear Coleen

I’m a transgender woman who has just come out. Although I’m in my 50s, I intend going through the process of fully becoming a woman and, as you probably know, part of this process involves living full time as a woman.

With this in mind, I had to speak to my boss (I work as a checkout operator) and she said that she’d support me and would inform the other staff. Fine, I thought, and made arrangements to go into work as a woman.

However, on my first morning at work wearing a skirt and tights, my department manager demanded that I closed my till and took myself to the storeroom to work for the day.

I asked why and he said that the shopfloor area was “not for women like me”. I asked him to explain and he said that if I intended to continue wearing skirts and/or other female items, then I should be kept out of sight.

I asked him if one of the other girls in the store changed her way of dressing, would she be treated the

He told me that the shopfloor wasn’t for women like me

same, to which he replied “no”, adding, “but then you’re not a real girl”.

I took this matter to my boss, who just said that she wouldn’t intervene in my department manager’s decision.

I fully intend going back to work in a skirt but I don’t know how to handle my department manager, especially as I need my job. Please help.

Coleen says

Your bosses are clearly ignorant of the company’s responsibilities because transgender and transsexual people are protected in the workplace by legislation.

The Equality Act 2010 outlaws discrimination in employment on the grounds of gender reassignment. So I would bring this up with your managers, your HR department and your union (if you have one).

As well as the impact discrimination and transphobia is having on your wellbeing in the workplace, it could also bring so much bad publicity for the company, which proves just how ignorant your managers are.

Your bosses should be informed and should put a plan in place to help ease the transition at work. They ought to be fighting your corner.

On an emotional level, of course it’s upsetting and disappointing to experience this attitude and feel unsupported and degraded.

Sadly, recent research from Acas showed employers still show little understanding of trans issues and another 2016 survey found 60% of trans employees experience transphobia in the workplace.

You sound strong and determined, so don’t let this throw you off course.

You can get more advice and support from the Beaumont Society (beaumontsociety.org.uk).

Good luck.