TEEN ABUSE HIDDEN 40 YEARS

Dear Coleen

I didn’t know who to talk to about my problem as I have kept it a secret for 40 years. When I was 15 I was in a gay club and was asked if I wanted to go to London. It was easy to get into these places in those days, even if under age.

I was abused in the car on the way. When we got to London I was introduced to an older man who said I could stay with him, which led to him abusing me nightly.

He then drove me to his friend’s house where I was raped. I scraped together enough money for the train home. I don’t think there’s any point going to the police, as I can’t remember names and they’d just think I was looking for compensation.

I feel better just by writing this email to you. You’re the first person I’ve ever told.

Coleen says

Thank you for choosing to tell me. In terms of reasons for sharing what happened to you, proof of the pudding is in the eating – you already feel better after writing this letter. Whether you decide to pursue justice through the courts has to be your decision, but don’t make it based on what other people might think.

What I think you should do is have counselling because, if you feel better by simply writing to me, sharing your experience with a counsellor will have huge benefits. You need to let out all those feelings you’ve kept bottled up for 40 years – rage, anger, sadness. You’ll be sitting in front of someone who won’t judge you at all.

Having spoken to many people who have experienced abuse, I know guilt can be a powerful emotion. But none of it was your fault. You need to pat yourself on the back – you’re a survivor and have got to this point in your life despite what happened to you.

You’re strong. But if you let it out with professional support and guidance, it’ll help you to move on further.

You can also get in touch with the National Association for People Abused in Childhood (napac.org.uk, 0808 801 0331).