MY TEEN SON IS BEING SO UNREALISTIC

Dear Coleen

My 16-year-old son is in his GCSE year, but has told me that when he finishes his exams he doesn’t want to get a job or scrounge off the benefits system either.

He said he wants a lifestyle where “tranquillity” is the main thing.

He told me how he didn’t feel he fitted in at school, and that tranquillity helped him.

He also said he’s not cut out for a nine-to-five job, a boss yelling at him, co-workers on social media, and that he feels like someone from another era! He keeps Googling tranquil places to live.

He’s an intelligent lad who doesn’t boast, but has few friends and generally seems to enjoy life.

My husband is concerned and says it’s impossible for our son to live the lifestyle he wants. I think what our son is really saying amounts to “help me, Mum, and Dad”, but we don’t know what to do.

Coleen says

Well, most of us would love that – a tranquil life without the stress of a job, but it’s not possible unless you have someone willing to pay your way. Even then, it’s about how you feel and, even if he did have a tranquil life, he might not feel calm.

He’s in his exam year, and it could be that he’s feeling deeply stressed and this is how it’s coming out. It would be worth talking to his teachers and getting their input. If they know, they can help to counsel and direct him.

As far as talking to him at home, I’d say his vision sounds lovely and hopefully he can travel and find these places but, the reality is, he needs to earn money. And talk to him about things he can do to find more balance in his life and help ease the stress of his exams – meditation, sport and so on.