HE KEEPS IN TOUCH WITH HIS EX-LOVE

Dear Coleen

I’m aware this may sound ridiculous, but I’m unhappy that my boyfriend has a lot of female friends. His three best mates are girls, one of whom is an ex-girlfriend.

I said I didn’t like him being friends with an ex, and he said “get a grip” so I left it.

Then we were out one night and a song came on, and he stopped to record a video to send to his friend, as it’s “their song”.

This friend isn’t the ex, and it wasn’t a love song or anything, but I still felt uncomfortable about it.

One of the girls is also a really nasty person – she’s best friends with his ex and likes to imply that they’ll end up together one day and makes snide comments about my weight and my job.

I don’t know if I should challenge him after his reaction last time, but I’m finding it difficult to cope. I love him and we’re very happy other than this, so what do you suggest?

Coleen says

I think he’s being a little unfair when it comes to his ex-girlfriend. Ask him how he’d feel if you expected him to hang out with your ex all the time – I imagine he wouldn’t like it much.

It comes down to who’s more important to him and if that’s you then he ought to take your feelings seriously and be grown up enough to talk and agree on boundaries.

It’s all clearly making you feel insecure, but I think you need to stop being intimated by these girls and be more confident in yourself. It sounds like there’s a lot of jealousy flying around.

And why hang out with them so much? You’re dating him, not his mates. If he complains that you don’t want to hang out with them, then tell him to get a grip!

There are plenty of nice guys out there to date who don’t come with an entourage.