I’M SO LONELY SINCE HUBBY PASSED AWAY

Dear Coleen

I’m 65 and have been a widow for five years now. I have two lovely daughters and five grandchildren, but I’m so lonely and don’t like bothering my girls.

I have no life really and I get so upset with myself. I was with my husband for 42 years and I still miss him so much. I’m lost without him and literally don’t know what to do with myself. Any words of wisdom would be gratefully received.

Coleen says

First of all, bother your girls – they can’t help if they don’t know you’re struggling. I’m sure if they know you’re lonely and feeling isolated, they’ll rally round.

When you have young children it’s easy to get absorbed by the day-to-day routines to keep all those balls in the air. But a regular coffee date in the diary and a phone call, or helping out with the grandkids could make all the difference. I know when I was a young mum, I was happy to take all the help that was offered.

You’re clearly still struggling to come to terms with your husband’s death, so why not try bereavement counselling? (visit cruse.org.uk).

It’s never too late to do this, and it’s a good option if you want to talk about your husband, but don’t want to involve your daughters. It would be time just for you and you’d be talking to an expert whose job it is to listen.

Finally, put out some feelers for social groups and clubs in your area – visit the library and community centre, and look online for local clubs and Facebook groups. Once you get going, you’ll find lots of people of a similar age who are also looking for friendship.