Queen Victoria was my wedding belle
I drew a lot of insults during the royal wedding for daring to tweet words that weren’t in keeping with the mass orgasm the nation was said to be enjoying.
I say insults, but it’s actually impossible to be offended by someone who sees Nicholas Witchell’s face appear on the telly and tells the rest of the room: “Shush, THIS IS IMPORTANT”.
The only joyful image was a desolate Victoria Beckham looking like she’d just been told that at the wedding dinner she was going to be force-fed the entire pasty shelf of Windsor’s branch of Greggs. She was magnificently miserable among the sycophantic fawning. In fact, I finally fancied her. Long may your regal misery reign Queen Vic.