MY BROTHER WON’T LET ME SEE HIS KIDS

Dear Coleen I’ve had a huge falling out with my brother over the fact that he never bothers with our parents, despite borrowing money from them and using them for childcare. Now he’s not letting me see his sons.

I have two sons, aged eight and 10, and my brother’s sons are aged nine and 11. We live five minutes from each other, so as you can imagine the four boys are close.

The row was over six months ago and I’ve called him to try to sort things out. I’ve been very polite when I’ve seen him and I’ve tried to talk, but my brother just won’t have it. It breaks my heart to think I won’t see my nephews again, and my children miss their cousins. What are my rights?

Coleen says To be honest, I don’t know what your rights are. I know there are current discussions about grandparents having rights over their grandchildren, but I don’t know about uncles and aunties. However, I do know that your brother shouldn’t be using his kids like this.

A couple of my sisters and I fell out and one of the things we agreed on was to not bring our children into it. We never stopped them seeing each other. So your brother is being silly to bring his sons and nephews into a row that has nothing to do with them.

Could you email him or try talking to his wife, or even ask your parents for advice? Try to make him see that your kids shouldn’t be affected.

Maybe you don’t even have to speak to each other – could his wife drop the kids at your house? Hopefully, over time your brother’s anger will fade.

My sisters and I get on well now – sometimes time is all you need.