Sex and the City a right old turn-off
NEVER mind Harry and Meghan, we should have got a bank holiday for this – it’s the 20th anniversary of Sex and the City.
The legendary TV show changed attitudes, relationships and wardrobes, in many different ways, not all of them good (see: corsages).
Even though the recent revelations that Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim Cattrall were at war during filming are depressing, we should be grateful. Now Kim’s out, we shall almost definitely be saved from a third SATC movie.
This means that as time goes on, the memory of the second one will fade, and eventually it will be like it never happened. And then we can all just remember Sex and the City fondly, with zero disappointment or resentment i.e. the dream.
We lived alongside the characters for six years, though, and were by their side through their biggest, happiest, saddest moments, and their most profound shoe purchases.
And so, even though we left them behind long ago (in 2008, after we’d seen the only movie) it’s hard not to think of them sometimes... and wonder what they might be up to now... (Although to clarify, this should in no way be interpreted as any kind of interest in seeing what they’re up to now in a third movie – where Samantha has either died of syphilis or had so much plastic surgery she looks exactly like a different actress.)
Carrie
would now be writing her sex column on an edgy website for millennials. She’s been married for a decade so her angle would have shifted slightly though – now her column’s called Box Sets And The City... although, actually, hopefully she’s not married any more, because when you watch the reruns it’s impossible not to notice that Mr Big is a proper d**k. How did we not see it at the time? And by we I mean you, not me, of course. Team Aidan and smug proud.
Samantha
It seems too obvious that Samantha would still be up to her old tricks, but in a desperate Madonna way because she’s pushing 60. Ms Jones did always like to surprise us, remember – this is the commitmentphobic maneater who was in a serious relationship with a lesbian for much of Season 4. So it’s probably safe to assume that Samantha found love with an accountant from Hull and lived happily ever after there.
Charlotte
Charlotte’s later storylines focused on her emotional fertility journey as she struggled to conceive – eventually her dreams came true when she adopted a child before getting pregnant. In 2018 she would probably be wondering why she bothered at best, and ruing the day at worst, because she’s now the mother of two teenage girls.
They are undoubtedly making her life a living hell. The adopted one even has the bonus low blow option of shouting, “You ain’t my muvver!” at her, Kat Slater style. 2018 Charlotte probably drinks a lot. In the day. Every day.
Miranda
By now Miranda has probably had enough of being a lawyer, and decided she wants to do something more meaningful... so she’s running for governor of New York even though the voters have seen her boobs on telly. Her slogan would be “A New York for the many, not just the few”, i.e. the same as Jeremy Corbyn’s. No – I’ve gone too far. None of that would ever happen in real life.
Samantha would still be up to her old tricks