TORN OVER MY MUM’S WEDDING

Dear Coleen

My parents split up last year after 35 years of marriage. My mum had an affair with a man she knew through work and the pair of them are getting married later this year.

I’ve always been a bit of a Daddy’s Girl and I feel terrible for him. He has taken the break-up very hard. I’ve asked him if he minds if I go to the wedding and he just sadly said, “It’s up to you love.”

I know he would feel hurt by me going but I’ll feel bad for my mum if I don’t. I’m completely torn.

Coleen says

Oh, this is such a difficult one. I think you should go to your mum’s wedding. I mean your dad is being great by saying it’s completely up to you, which must take a lot of strength.

Maybe you should sit down with him and say, “What do you really want me to do?” Then explain how torn you feel. He must realise you’re in this terrible predicament and that you don’t want to hurt him or your mum.

He sounds like a lovely man so I’m sure he’ll understand. Tell him that he’s your dad and you’ll always love him, but she’s your mum and you feel as if you have to do the right thing by going to her wedding.

Maybe you could go to the actual wedding and support your mum, but don’t stay and party all night. So you’re there to give her your blessing, but your dad isn’t thinking that you’re also out having a great time.

Maybe leave the event early and go and have a special dinner with your dad instead?