How many people have you slept with?
AS part of a game on Love Island this week, the contestants had to reveal their magic number.
Their reactions to the amount of people they’ve slept with being broadcast to the nation ranged from smug to shy... although obviously none of them were shocked because they know what they’ve signed up for.
Also, they’d just had to announce their favourite position in the bedroom – a proclamation many had prefaced with the words “Sorry, mum and dad!”
What followed – and the ensuing fallout – was eye-opening and gripping (luckily not literally because that sounds painful).
Does it really matter, in 2018, how many people you’ve slept with? Before watching that episode I would have insisted definitely not. Now I know the truth – it shouldn’t, but it absolutely does.
Firstly, what must be noted is how remarkable it was that everyone in the villa’s answer was a perfect round number. I would also like to proffer the bombshell hypothesis there’s a possibility not everyone was telling the truth.
But still, there were no real surprises. You could have guessed all the numbers in advance because by now we have some sense of who the Islanders are. You see, you’re not meant to judge someone on how many people they’ve slept with, but how is that possible when it undeniably tells you everything about them?
Finding out the magic number of someone you’re interested in romantically can change everything.
In theory, it should offer no more insight into their true self than how many times they’ve been abroad, or how many different jobs they’ve had.
In reality, it’s the question that answers everything. It’s life shorthand... you could take ages delving into the inner workings of someone’s soul, or you could just ask them one thing and find out all you could ever wish to know in an instant.
Magic numbers are a complicated issue that makes hypocrites of us all.
Hypothetically, I would defend the right of any consenting adult who wanted to have sex and could find someone also consenting to have it with, to do exactly that. It’s nobody’s business but theirs.
But in actuality, arrogant, smirky love-rat Adam racking up 200 partners is completely revolting.
I don’t think it’s about which sex you are, either. It’s completely subjective. If someone I like – regardless of whether they’re male or female – has had a lot of partners, they are openminded and admirably confident. If it’s someone I don’t like, for example, Adam – who let’s never forget, is just the worst – ugh, they are beyond gross.
Equally, if someone I like hasn’t had many partners, they are wise and blessed with inspiring self-respect, but if it’s someone I don’t, they’re an uptight saddy.
“How many people have you slept with?” is simultaneously the most simple and most complicated question anyone can ask. And there is a right answer. I think nowadays it’s the same for women as for men. God, I hope so.
High enough to show you’ve lived, low enough that you don’t know how to spell chylamdia.
The correct answer is... different for everyone. That’s the catch. The only way to definitely not get it wrong? Always answer second.
It’s an issue that makes hypocrites of us all