HOW DO I DATE AGAIN IN MY 50s?

Dear Coleen

I brought up three children on my own after my husband left to be with his lover when the kids were very young.

He’s been mostly absent from their lives and has provided very little in the way of financial support over the years.

Now my youngest has left home, I’m struggling to know what to do with myself. I haven’t had any relationships or even dated since my husband left nearly 20 years ago.

I am in my 50s and have no clue where to start when it comes to meeting men or what I’d even do if I did meet someone nice. If they wanted to take things further, I’d probably run a mile!

My kids keep saying they’d like me to find someone special, but how on earth do I do this?

Coleen says

Well, I take my hat off to you – what an incredible job you’ve done bringing up your kids on your own. But it is hard when you’ve spent so many years concentrating on their needs to shift the focus on to yourself.

Now my kids are older, I’ve struggled to redefine my role since hitting 50 and I’m sure many others feel the same. But in terms of dating, I don’t think you should panic and rush into anything.

Build up to it slowly, be open to social opportunities, join local clubs and say yes to going on a date if you like someone – it doesn’t have to lead to anything unless you want it to.

I’m single too, and the thought of a man seeing me naked is, quite frankly, terrifying! However, I also believe that if you meet the right person, you won’t feel like that.

I don’t think it matters what age you are, dating is always a bit nerve-racking. I get plenty of letters from teenagers and people in their 20s who worry about exactly the same things and have the same insecurities – and they have perfect bodies and the confidence of youth!