I CAN’T COMPETE WITH HIS EX

Dear Coleen

My boyfriend and I have been really close friends for about a year. Recently we started dating and it’s going really well. His mum says she likes me, which is good, but she loves his ex!

His ex is the girl of his mum’s best friend and she sees her as a daughter, so it’s going to be really hard to compete with that.

I am not upset that this girl is in his life because I understand the situation and their longstanding friendship. And I’m not even worried about whether my boyfriend would let anything happen with his ex or initiate anything himself.

However, I need advice on how I can improve my relationship with his mum to get to his ex’s level or close to it.

Coleen says

Why do you feel you need to compete with his ex? The most important thing is to be yourself and let his mum and everyone else in his life get to know you.

That’ll be hard to do if you’re constantly trying to second guess what will impress his mum and be like his ex.

The fact is, your boyfriend chose you for the person you are and probably because you are different to his ex.

You’re starting off from a good point because you already know his mum likes you, so just relax and enjoy this exciting time in your relationship and also getting to know his family.

I’m sure you’ll get tons of brownie points for handling the situation in such a mature way, and his mum will understand that it’s hard to come after a girl her son has probably known all his life and who’s close to the family.

Just have some confidence in yourself and keep doing what you’re doing.