WORRIED HE’LL THINK I’M TRAPPING HIM

Dear Coleen

My boyfriend and I are currently on a break. He wanted to end the relationship completely, but I suggested taking a break because we still love each other and had a lot to lose. To say all of this came out of the blue is a massive understatement!

It’s only been a few days, but I wasn’t feeling well and started what I thought was my period. Turns out it was implantation bleeding and I’m pregnant.

I need to tell him, but I just don’t want him to think I’m trying to trap him. I obviously don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me and only stays because of the child. How should I handle this?

Coleen says

Explain it to him in the same way you’ve explained it to me: that he needs to know about the pregnancy, but that you’re not trying to pressure him into coming back. I think you’re absolutely right – you should get back together because you love each other and it’s what you both want, and not because of the pregnancy.

But you need to mean what you say so you don’t end up in a situation further down the line where you’re using the baby as a weapon to get some kind of revenge.

I also think you need to give yourself some time and space to think about what you want and how you’ll feel if it turns out he doesn’t want to get back with you. You’re facing the prospect of being a single parent and that can be extremely tough.

Yes, he should absolutely help support the child financially, but you’ll be the one who’s there every day doing the hard work.