LIVING APART IS PROVING TO BE TOO HARD

Dear Coleen

I’m a 28-year-old man and I’ve been married for a year.

Recently, I got offered an amazing work opportunity, which involved me relocating to London during the week from my home in the North.

My wife didn’t want to move with me as she loves her job and all her friends are up here.

So we agreed that I’d rent a room to stay in during the week and we’d get together at weekends.

In reality, I haven’t seen her every weekend as there’s been some foreign travel too.

The contract is only for two years, which is why we thought it could work and we discussed it a lot before I signed up for the job.

Now though, two months in, she’s very angry about the situation, telling me I shouldn’t have accepted the job and that I don’t care about her. What can I do?

Coleen says When opportunities turn up, I think it’s easy to get carried away by the excitement. You probably thought that because it was more money for your future together, better career prospects, and it was a short-term contract, that it seemed pretty doable.

However, as you’re discovering, the reality can be different, and your wife, who is only a year into marriage, is realising it’s not what she wants.

You need to try to have an honest discussion about how you both feel, and then talk through any options that might make the situation better.

It could be that she’s just really missing you and feels insecure about your marriage and it’s coming out as anger. A bit of reassurance can go a long way.