SHOULD I MEET WEB PAL FOR FETISH FUN?

Dear Coleen

I’ve been married for 25 years and have a fetish for stocking masks. I love my wife very much and we have grown-up children together.

However, I chat to another bloke who is into the same thing as I am and wants to meet up for some masked fun.

It’s just a fetish, there’s nothing criminal about it and I’m not gay, but I don’t know whether I should take it further. What do you think?

Coleen says

You’re obviously concerned that you’ll be betraying your wife, who you love, and I think you’re right to be concerned about that. You don’t say if you’ve ever discussed this fetish with her, but I’m assuming you haven’t.

Maybe you think you can hide it from her, but I get a lot of letters from people who’ve discovered a partner’s affairs and other secrets online – it would only take a hint of suspicion for your wife to start looking. So there are no guarantees she wouldn’t find out and then it would feel to her like a betrayal. It’s a risk.

Although you might know there’s no physical sexual relationship with this other person, she might not accept that and I doubt she’d be OK with it.

If you’re looking for reassurance regarding your fetish, I don’t think anything is wrong in a sexual context if you’re not harming anyone else. However, you do need to be very honest with yourself about how much you want to explore this fetish and what you stand to lose by taking it further while staying married to your wife.