Young, sober? Not if you’re paying…

Researchers who quizzed 10,000 16-24 year olds about their alcohol intake have concluded that a third of them do not drink at all, making them the most sober young generation in recent history.

I’ve looked at some of my own extensive research in this field, having two kids who’ve recently been in this age group, and have concluded that the question has been incorrectly framed.

According to my figures, a third of 16-24s may not want to buy alcohol, but when someone else is buying it in a pub or has left them a kitchen full of booze at a party, 100% of them grab it with both hands and get so smashed off their skulls they’re drunk for a week.