DAD IS DRINKING FAR TOO MUCH

Dear Coleen

My father drinks too much but I don’t know how to talk to him about it. He’s quite a closed-off person and I think he’d be angry if I tried to bring up the subject.

My mum’s not around any more, so I have to be the one to address it with him.

Recently, he had a health scare and ended up in hospital. The doctor warned him to cut back on the booze, but he hasn’t listened to him at all.

He’s 75 and obviously set in his ways. I’ve very rarely ever seen him drunk and he manages his life very well, but he drinks pretty heavily and regularly – as in every evening.

I want him to be around for as long as possible to see my son grow up. I had him last year after many years of trying for a baby and he’s the apple of his grandfather’s eye.

Can you suggest how I can reach out to my dad?

Coleen says

I think talking about his grandson would be a good start. Tell him you know it’s hard to change a habit of a lifetime, but if he’s going to try for anyone, then try for his grandson so they can enjoy many more years of happiness together. So try to pull on his heartstrings a bit and remind him how loved and valued he is.

However, you also have to accept that it’s very difficult to give up or cut down on alcohol or any other addictive substance.

He’s probably thinking, “I’m 75, why change now?” And there might be something else driving it, for example, loneliness now your mum isn’t around.

Maybe you can help him find more joy in life without alcohol – go out more with the baby together and involve him as much as you can.

And don’t set the bar too high – tell him you’re not expecting him to stop completely, but to please cut down if that’s what his doctor is advising.