How to become a forever family...
WE have been celebrating National Adoption Week by telling our readers about children desperate to find forever families.
We hope you have been inspired to consider adoption by our stories of children such as Jay, whose foster carer Bukky, 47, longs to see the fouryear-old settle in a permanent home.
Or by superdad Ben Carpenter, 34, who has adopted five disabled children with extremely complex needs, but still says: “I love everything about being a father.”
With First4Adoption, we have created this guide to help you decide if taking on a child is right for you.
■ Am I eligible?
Whether you are single, unmarried, over 40, gay or straight, actively practising religion, unemployed, renting your home, married, in a civil partnership or disabled, adoption is open to you. You can also adopt a child who is from a different ethnic background to your own.
Take the test at first4adoption.org. uk/first-steps-intro or call 0300 222 0022 to find out if you can apply.
■ Is adoption right for me?
This can be the hardest thing to decide, but it helps to talk to people. You would be surprised how many people have adoption stories to share.
It’s a good idea to read widely about adoption, especially about other people’s experiences, when thinking about whether it is right for you.
Many adopters blog about their day-to-day experiences, sharing the ups and downs of being a parent, and this can help you envisage how your situation might be. ■ There are thousands of children who need a good home
Find adoption agencies in your area and attend their information sessions.
These are friendly, informal events that are usually group sessions, although you can arrange a one-toone if you wish.
They provide an opportunity to find out more about how the agency operates and will give you an idea of whether it is the agency for you.
You will probably also get the chance to speak to adopters, which can be extremely valuable. We recommend you prepare some questions in advance to help you build your own personal adoption picture. ■ Questions may include:
What made you want to adopt? Bukky wants to find Jay a permanent home What age would you prefer the child you adopt to be? What made you think of adopting?
Did you consider adopting siblings? What support do you have or need from family, friends or professionals? What contact have you had with the birth family? Was this difficult?
You may also want to find out more about the children that need adopting. More details about their backgrounds and statistics on the children in care can be found at first4adoption.org.uk/being-an-adoptiveparent/about-the-children)
■ Adoption is right for me. What do I do next?
Once you have gathered all the information you can and you are still convinced that adoption is the right option for you, it is time to pick an adoption agency.
Attending the adoption sessions helps you get an idea of which agency you think you could work with.
It is really important to find an adoption agency that is right for you.
You can choose to be assessed to be an adoptive parent by a voluntary adoption agency or a by a local authority adoption agency.
■ Choosing an agency may depend on many factors:
How easy is it to reach? Are they recruiting? How welcoming are they? What support do they offer?
More important than these practical considerations is the personal relationship and rapport you build with the agency staff.
Adoption is an emotional journey and much of this will be made with your agency. Finding people you are comfortable with is vitally important.
Go to first4adoption.org.uk/theadoption-process to prepare for being assessed to be approved as an adoptive parent.
■ Get In touch
If you have any questions about adopting, visit first4adoption.org.uk. Or on Twitter @First4Adoption or at facebook.com/First4Adoption.