WHY AM I STILL CHASING GUY WHO LEFT ME?

Dear Coleen

I’m 21 and a few weeks ago my boyfriend dumped me, saying he wanted to be free to date other people. I’ve since found out he’s come on to a couple of my friends, which I was hurt and angry about because it shows a total lack of respect for me and what we had together. My friends told me, and told him where to go.

The thing is, I really missed him, so when he got back in touch saying he’d made a mistake and wanted to see me again, I agreed.

We’d only been back together for a couple of weeks when he dumped me again. I feel such a fool, but what’s more worrying is that I still like him so much and miss him.

Any ideas?

Coleen says

You’re young and maybe this is the first time you’ve been in a situation where you like someone more than they like you.

It’s a horrible feeling, but when you get older, you learn to think, “OK, you’re no good for me, so I’ll find someone who does want to be with me”. There’s also something in us that’s very attracted to the unattainable and we want to get it to prove that we can.

However, don’t waste any more time on this guy. I’m sorry you feel heartbroken, but I promise that in time that will ease, especially when you’re in a new relationship.

Your ex has really messed you about and given no thought to how you feel and the impact his behaviour has had on you.

It sounds like you have good loyal friends, so focus on having fun with them. You’ve got plenty of time to meet the person you deserve. Good luck!