POLLYOMETER

Going down...

Posh space

There are many appropriate reactions to have to the news that Victoria Beckham just spent time at a £950 a night emotional wellbeing clinic in Germany. Just checking though... is jealousy one of them? Asking for a friend, obv.

Ginger nuts

Ed Sheeran is auctioning off some of his personal items for charity, which is obviously a good thing. The slight quibble? Some of them are a little too personal. As in, his pants. They’re from glamorous, unattainable celebrity shops like Primark and Next, one pair is as orange as he is, and nowhere in the listing does it say that they’ve been washed. Mind you, to a certain demographic, that probably makes them even more valuable. Bleurrggh.