Revealing mental health struggles may be the most important thing players have ever done.They should be hugely proud
EARLIER this year I shared a Westminster platform with Andy Cole, as we attempted to persuade MPs to change the law on organ donation.
Our common link was that he’d received a kidney from his nephew after a virus caught in Vietnam left him with a seven per cent function, and I’d given one to my son who’d had a reduced capacity since birth.
As the former Manchester United and Newcastle striker spoke articulately and passionately about the need for MPs to rule that a person has consented to donation unless they’ve specifically opted-out, all seemed good with him.
But it wasn’t, as we found out this week when Cole admitted his illness and the donation process had played havoc with his mind, leaving him so low he considered taking his own life.
“Before, I would watch people who are depressed and suicidal and not understand. Now I’m in the same position,” the 47-yearold told The Guardian, baring his soul to help other men in a similar position and offering this advice: “Accept who you are and try to move forward every day.”
His courageous opening-up on his mental health came weeks after Jason McAteer and Chris Kirkland (circle) did the same in an emotional documentary for Liverpool’s in-house TV channel.
Both players told how they had contemplated ending their lives as their careers wound down and how they eventually pulled themselves around through talking about it and seeking help.
Like Cole, both heroically cast aside fears about exposing their vulnerability and spoke publicly in the hope it would encourage men going through a similar crisis to recognise they’re not alone.
“There’s always an alternative and the alternative is to speak to somebody and get help, because it’s out there,” said McAteer (right), also 47.
And it worked. Liverpool received hundreds of supportive tweets and Facebook posts and there was a handful of emails from fans saying they were going through the same mental crisis the former Reds had been through and intended to seek help. The biggest killer of men between 29 and 49 in this country is suicide, and 75 per cent of those who take their own lives have never been diagnosed with a mental health problem. They’ve just bottled up their misery believing it unmasculine to admit they are feeling depressed. So those ex-players, and ones like Stan Collymore and Rio Ferdinand who came before them, can not be thanked enough for their outstanding and unprompted bravery in telling others, who may once have idolised them, that it’s OK to feel like you’re feeling.
These are players, who as young men were constantly, and often harshly, judged, which made them very wary about opening up. To do so is both humbling and massively to their credit. Because they could be saving lives. It’s as simple as that. Last month I interviewed Louise Speed about her husband Gary’s suicide seven years ago. It was tough and emotional and at times she broke down and struggled to speak through the tears.
But the point she kept coming back to was this. If only Gary had let us know he was suffering we could have helped. If only we’d known he was sick he might still be here. But he just kept it all locked up inside and now his sons have grown up without their father.
These retired footballers telling the world about their severe mental health struggles may possibly be the most important thing any players have ever done with their public platform.
They should be very proud.