HOW DO I TELL HER ABOUT GAY DAD’S BIG DAY?

Dear Coleen

My ex-boyfriend is now living with a man and they’re planning to marry. We have a six-year-old daughter together and I’m worried about how it’s going to affect her.

She knows her dad is living with his friend and she visits their house quite a lot, and she gets on well with his partner. However, we haven’t talked about things too deeply.

I guess my ex and I have both been ignoring it to some extent, and our daughter hasn’t asked too many questions yet.

All her friends are in very traditional families though, and we don’t live in an area with much diversity. Have you any advice on the best way to talk to her about it?

Coleen says

I think honesty done in the right way that’s age appropriate is the best policy. It’s important that you and your ex are on the same page and that you talk to your daughter together. The good thing is, she knows her dad’s partner and gets along with him, so it’s not like he’s arrived out of the blue.

A good starting point might be to simply talk about different types of families and how children fit into them. Be confident and positive when you’re talking about it, so she understands it’s not something to be worried about.

I think you’ll find she’ll be very accepting, but she might have more questions, so be ready to answer them!

There are some good online resources. Visit www.stonewall.org. uk, where you can download A Guide for Gay Dads and Different Families. And let her teacher know you’re opening up these discussions at home so she can be supported at school.