CAN’T COMPETE WITH HER MATES

Dear Coleen

I’ve been seeing my girlfriend for about a year now. Things were going well until a couple of months ago when I was made redundant.

I still haven’t found work, so I’m not able to take her out and do the things we used to do together. I think she’s getting fed up and bored with the situation.

To make things worse, she socialises with a crowd who have lots of money and I can’t compete with them.

She’s hanging out with them a lot more now and is always making excuses about why she can’t see me.

I’ve asked her if there’s a problem, but she just says “no”.

Any advice?

Coleen says

When you’re faced with a big life challenge like this, it can test your relationship. It can make you work as a team to get through this rough patch if you have your partner’s support or it can cause a lot of stress and resentment.

If her reason for being distant is just down to the fact you can no longer keep up with this wealthy crowd she hangs out with, then I’d question the relationship and how committed she is.

The point is, if you stay together you are going to be tested by lots of different things as the years go on and, if she bolts at the first sign that life isn’t perfect, then you are going to run into trouble.

So I’d put that to her – is she in this relationship for good times and bad because she loves you and sees a future with you, or is money more important to her?

If it’s the latter, then I think you deserve something better.

In the meantime, get support from your family and friends, and good luck with the job hunt.