HE STILL CARRIES EX-WIFE’S RING

Dear Coleen

My partner of six years still carries his wedding ring and the wedding ring of his wife, who passed away 10 years ago, in his wallet. He also carries her photo. This hurts me immensely and I’ve tried speaking to him about it, but he won’t listen.

I feel we’ve been together long enough now for him to put these things away somewhere safe. Am I being unreasonable? I need an impartial opinion on this.

Coleen says

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable, but I think you’re worrying unnecessarily and feeling threatened over someone who’s not here any more.

I visited my brother and his wife recently, and spotted a framed photograph of his first wife, who died suddenly from complications of a virus when she was just 26.

My first thought was, ‘How lovely of Annie to do that’. And it also spoke volumes about how strong and secure she is as a person.

I suppose when you meet someone special following the death of a partner, there must still be a lingering element of guilt for moving on, no matter how many years have passed.

But also, I think carrying the rings and the photo is just your partner’s way of acknowledging that he’ll never forget his wife and she’s still in his heart.

It shows how loving and thoughtful he is.

I don’t think it’s a sign that he doesn’t love you and he’s not displaying these items where you can see them so, if everything else in your relationship is good, don’t let this mar it.