Pep prefers nookie to football but his red-hot team are a proving to be a real TURN-ON
PEP GUARDIOLA says he prefers sex to football – but his rampant Manchester City side are proving the perfect aphrodisiac for him.
Guardiola’s former player Dani Alves joked that being coached by him was better than sex, something the Etihad boss laughed off.
But if anything is going to set Guardiola’s pulse racing, it is this side, whose brand of alluring football saw them put one over on Manchester United and reclaim top spot in the Premier League.
And while there may be legitimate questions about their off-field business practices, with allegations they bent the rules to comply with financial fair play, on the pitch they have no such concerns.
As well as climbing back above Liverpool into first place, this hardfought win left United marooned in eighth spot, 12 points adrift of their neighbours and facing another season in which they fail to be title contenders.
There was no sarcastic ear-cupping from Jose Mourinho to the home fans at the final whistle, just the brutal acceptance that his side are simply not in the same class as this City team even though they were missing the injured Paul Pogba.
Before the game, Mourinho described City as “untouchable” in terms of the football they play and the squad they have built, and the hosts took great delight in proving just that.
They began at a blistering pace, tormenting United and putting their opponents on what Sir Alex Ferguson famously called the “passing carousel”, a feature of Guardiola’s teams.
After 10 minutes, City had 88 per cent possession, by 15 minutes they had racked up 109 passes to United’s 19. Against that backdrop, it was always going to be a long afternoon for the visitors, one which ultimately served to confirm the huge gulf in class between the teams.
City took the lead in the 12th minute, David Silva starting and finishing the move, with United’s defence pulled all over the place by the speed and ruthless efficiency of their attack.
Silva slipped the ball to Raheem Sterling, whose cross was turned back across goal by Bernardo Silva towards Sergio Aguero and he was bundled to the ground by Chris Smalling.
Ref Anthony Taylor was about to point to the spot, but allowed City the advantage, and Silva seized on the loose ball and fired home.
It was no more than they deserved for their dazzling start, and the sixth time in their last seven games that United – with one league clean sheet all season – had gone behind.
At that stage, it looked as though they would be buried under an avalanche of goals, such was the dominance of their bitter rivals.
But they managed to halt the tide to frustrate the home side and slow their early impetus, ensuring City were unable to add to their lead before half-time.
Yet three minutes after the restart United were 2-0 down. Jesse Lingard was robbed of the ball in the middle by Fernandinho, with United made to pay for that loss of focus.
City’s record scorer Aguero picked up the ball from Fernandinho and surged towards goal, finding Mahrez before continuing his run into the penalty area.
Victor Lindelof was not quick enough to react and when Mahrez found Aguero (top, with Guardiola), his thunderous drive beat David De Gea at his near post.
It was a stunning goal, ruthless in its conception and execution, and at that stage there seemed no way back for United, even though they recovered from 2-0 down last season to win 3-2 at the Etihad and delay City’s title party.
But they were handed a lifeline in the 58th minute when City keeper Ederson brought down Romelu Lukaku, who had only been on the pitch a matter of seconds, to needlessly concede a penalty.
Anthony Martial converted from the spot, scoring for the fifth league game in a row to give Mourinho’s side hope of another epic comeback.
It proved a false hope, with substitute Ilkay Gundogan plundering City’s third in the 86th minute after a 44-pass move involving 10 players.