Cheryl’s keeping it real in a fake world

PHEW! That was close, wasn’t it?

Cheryl Tweedy has explained that she only looked strange the other day because of a pillow crease, so now we can all relax.

Because up until her clarification, it had appeared that the unarguably most beautiful woman in the country had messed about with her face, and while she’s still very young, too.

If Cheryl had done that, what would it mean for the rest of us? There would be literally no hope for womankind. So thank goodness it was just a pillow crease and everything’s going to be fine.

It was very unsettling though, before we knew what was going on. Cheryl’s face is her fortune. She wasn’t the best singer in

Girls Aloud, but she’s always been the most interesting, had the most enduring fame, because we can’t take our eyes off her. Her beauty is mesmerising. Hypnotic.

So if she, of all people, felt the need to change her appearance, to tweak perfection, it would prove exactly how frightening the frightening times we’re living in now truly are.

And the worst thing? We have no one to blame but ourselves.

We’ve created a compare and despair Instagram world, where nothing is as important as what we look like. We’re used to every DON’T PANIC Cheryl pillow crease

interview we read with a female celebrity starting with a description of her clothes, make-up and hair – yet a male celebrity’s outfit would only be mentioned if he turned up naked, or dressed as a banana... and probably only then in the second paragraph – under a list of his achievements.

We accept this. Unquestioningly. We expect it. We’re also the only ones who can change it, and we’re just... not.

The next generation is growing up on social media, where everyone’s appearance is filtered, photoshopped, fake. People know this in theory, but forget it in practice, once the scrolling starts. And then they end up feeling bad for not looking like someone who doesn’t even look like that themselves. Utter madness, repeated constantly, endlessly.

Cheryl – someone who, strictly speaking, should be making people feel terrible about themselves, not feeling terrible herself – falling into the trap of thinking she’s not pretty enough, and therefore not good enough would have been the most depressing sign of the times yet.

Also, how weird would it have been to be unable to ignore the fact that everyone comes across so smug on social media but apparently no one – even the people we all assume must be – is feeling it? And then what would that have said about everyone being so addicted to something that’s only making them feel awful? It would be like being hooked on a drug that only makes you vomit. It would be self-harm.

If Cheryl had actually had work done on her face, we could have put before and after shots in a time capsule. That way, when aliens landed on this planet in millions of years time, and wondered how civilisation was destroyed, they would have understood instantly.

What a relief that this isn’t the case.

So let’s all hear it for the unexpected hero of 2018 – the pillow crease. Now we can all rest happy in the knowledge that we’re not doomed after all. Whoop, whoop.

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She wasn’t the best singer in Girls Aloud but her beauty is just hypnotic