I’M SO INSECURE WITH WOMEN

Dear Coleen

I really struggle with selfconfidence when it comes to women. I’m in my 40s and I’ve never been a ‘looker’, so to speak. I’m short, bald and definitely no oil painting, as my mum would say.

However, I’ve got a sense of humour (thankfully) and I’m always the one who gets the party going. When it comes to women, though, I just freeze and all my insecurities come out.

I’ve been single now for five years and my previous relationship was short-lived. It’s getting to the point where I’m starting to accept I’ll never meet anyone special to share my life with. Have you any advice?

Coleen says

There’s no denying that when you first see someone across a room, how they look can make you look again but, trust me, if you have the personality of a brick, then your looks are insignificant. You sound like such a great guy who’s full of personality – and that’s what women will fall in love with.

I think it’s hard for single people of any age these days because we live in such a looks-obsessed society, so if you don’t fit that Instagram model of perfection (which isn’t real by the way), then it can affect your confidence. I always fall for someone who can make me laugh – it’s so attractive.

I think it’s incredibly lucky if you can find someone who’ll bring fun and light into your life. And I think most women feel the same – we love confident men with a sense of humour.

So you just have to trust yourself and act naturally, and bring that confidence to situations where you’re meeting women. If you can do that, there’s every chance a woman will find you attractive.

I know it’s hard when every one of your mates is married or attached, but it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you or that the right woman isn’t out there. And take the pressure off – go out with the aim of having a good time and not specifically to meet someone.