MY WIFE AND I NEVER SEE EACH OTHER

Dear Coleen

My wife goes out every other night with her friends and she’s out every weekend with them, too. Her plans hardly ever involve me any more and I’m getting sick of it now.

This behaviour has been going on for two years and I don’t know whether I can put up with it any longer. I may as well be a single man for all the time she spends with me.

Do you think I should just call it a day and walk away from my marriage once and for all?

Coleen says

Well, the obvious thing to ask is if you’ve actually had a proper conversation about how you feel and if she’s given any reasons for why she’s spending so much time away from you?

It does seem as if you’re living separate lives and you feel very isolated as a result. Maybe she’s avoiding being at home because she doesn’t want to face the fact that your marriage isn’t in a good place any more.

You have to communicate with each other and be honest, even if you think it might hurt the other person. You’re miserable in the marriage and you have to tell her that. Maybe you can explore through counselling why you’ve reached the point where you’re just living like lodgers in the same house, but you have to start by opening up a conversation at home.

I imagine you might be fearful of doing this because it might confirm some deep worries that your wife isn’t happy and is looking for a way out. But it’s better to face up to it and deal with it one way or the other than carry on the way you are.