Dear Coleen

FELL FOR HER BUT SHE DUMPED ME

I’m a widower in my late 60s and I was seeing a lovely woman I met at a social club. We’d been seeing each other romantically for a year and had been on holiday and met each other’s families.

A few weeks ago, completely out of the blue, she said she didn’t want to continue our relationship. I was shocked and heartbroken – I’d imagined us being together for the rest of our days.

She insists there’s no one else in the picture and I believe her. She says at her age, she doesn’t want commitment and wants to be free to travel with her friends and be more involved with her children and grandchildren.

I can’t shake off this feeling of being hurt and disappointed. I thought I was too old to be lovesick, but it seems I’m not.

Coleen says

Look, it doesn’t matter what age you are or how much experience you have, getting your heart broken hurts like hell and it takes time to heal. Also, in your mind you were planning a future with her and now that’s been taken away from you, too.

So I think you have to expect to feel rubbish for a while, but seek support from your family and friends. Get back into the swing of seeing people, go to the social club and see your own grandkids. Distraction is a good thing initially to take the edge off what you’re feeling and so is being surrounded by good people.

There’s every chance you’ll meet someone else if that’s what you want. I’ve had plenty of letters from people older than you who’ve met a partner.