I DON’T KNOW WHICH ONE IS THE FATHER

Dear Coleen

I’m a 29-year-old woman and I recently found out that my lover, who’s 16, has been cheating on me.

To be fair, I am also cheating as I have a boyfriend I’ve been seeing for seven years who’s 37.

I met my young lover at a party – we were both drunk and ended up at his place and things carried on.

Now, I’ve discovered I’m pregnant and don’t know what to do as I’ve been checking the dates and the baby could belong to either of them.

However, after seven years of sleeping with my boyfriend, we’ve never got pregnant so I think it’s likely the baby belongs to my lover.

Should I tell them both?

Coleen says

If you’re going to keep this baby, which it sounds like you are, I do think you need to tell them both.

Do I think you can rely on your 16-year-old lover, who’s seeing other women? No.

And you might not be able to rely on your boyfriend either because, naturally, he’s not going to react well to news that you’ve been sleeping with someone else.

You won’t know who the father is until the baby is born and you can do a DNA test.

So I think you have to tell them and then forge ahead, and accept that you might be a single mum.

But you can’t live a lie and stay with your boyfriend in the hope the baby is his. It’s not fair on him or the child. If you lie about it now, it will come out at some point later.

So although it’ll cause chaos initially, honesty is the best policy.

Also, you need to really think about whether you ought to remain in this relationship anyway.

If you’re cheating, then something is clearly wrong.