WORRIED MY GRANDSON IS AUTISTIC

Dear Coleen

I’m worried about my six-year-old grandson. I’m convinced he’s on the autistic spectrum because of his behaviour, but my daughter won’t have him assessed as she doesn’t want him to be“pigeon-holed” or “labelled” at such a young age.

It seems to me he’s really struggling. He doesn’t make friends easily and, when he does, he’s very possessive over them. He cries a lot, especially when things aren’t exactly how he likes them, or if he’s in a noisy or chaotic environment

He’s not doing well at school as he can’t seem to focus on things. I know he’s still very young and I’m not an expert, but I do have some experience as a teaching assistant. I think my daughter is worrying more about herself and how they’ll be regarded among her friends than her son’s well being. What can I do?

Coleen says

Of course you’re right that it should be about your grandson and not about social fears your daughter might have, but you need to tread carefully. Your daughter may be afraid of starting down this path, which is natural, or perhaps she’s in denial about his behaviour.

If he is on the autistic spectrum, early interventions will benefit him and help your daughter, too. But, as you point out, you’re not an expert and the only way of knowing if your grandson is affected is for him to see one.

I think all you can do is to be supportive and talk to her in a non-judgmental way, letting her know you want to help. You can also get advice from the National Autistic Society (autism.org.uk).