NATION NOT GIVING TOSS ABOUT FAREXIT

Art critic Waldemar Januszczak slammed the »

video and film medium which won this year’s Turner Prize, calling it “old hat”. Charlotte Prodger’s £25,000 winning entry, a film about identity politics, was shot on her iPhone, which Januszczak said was “so easy to do it attracts the untalented”.

Fabulous. That’s my entry for next year’s competition sorted. A collection of videos of the dangling bits of my 60-something genitalia, entitled “a load of old balls”. How can the Turner Prize judges resist?