Kick the click

I am (so far) enjoying an entirely Amazonfree Christmas.

Sick of the way they fail to pay their fair share of tax, treat their staff “like robots” and kick the living daylights out of our high streets, I’ve banned myself from swiping and shoring up the empire of the richest man on Earth.

So far it’s been fine, although the guinea pigs might not agree after we ran out of nuggets mid-week and they were on emergency rations of cauliflower leaves until Sunday when I got to Tesco’s.

“I’m sure Jeff Bezos is quaking in his boots,” grunts eldest son. “Meanwhile, I suppose we’ll be having a really rubbish Christmas.”

“No, because Christmas existed long before One Click shopping,” I respond. “Really?”

“Yes – and all we need for a happy family, Amazon-free Christmas is for us to get organised well in advance and then for us to spend some quality time together.”

“Right,” he concludes. “Really rubbish then.”