WISH I COULD SEE FAMILY MORE OFTEN

Dear Coleen

I’m a man aged 71 and I’m on my own after losing my wife a few years ago. I have a son and a daughter, who both have families of their own, but I don’t see them that often.

I feel that unless I arrange a get-together with my children and their families, they would never suggest it and I’d never see them!

I don’t want to seem petty or pathetic, but I would appreciate it if they made a bit more effort for their old man.

Have you any advice?

Coleen says

Yes, I do - just tell them! Life’s too short to overthink it and risk missing out on precious times with your grandkids. Your children aren’t mindreaders and I’m sure once they know how you feel, they’ll make more of an effort.

I remember having counselling during my first marriage and complaining that my husband didn’t do this and never did that. My counsellor just turned round and said, “When did he become mindreader?”

Often we expect other people to know how we feel about a situation because we feel so strongly, but most of the time they’re oblivious.

Your children have jobs and young kids of their own, and it’s so easy to get wrapped up in just getting on with life and anything outside of that bubble becomes a huge effort.

Just say, “Look I’d love to see you all more and do more with the grandchildren. It gets a bit lonely sometimes.” Do it!