TWO YEARS ON... I still see face of Manchester bomber in my nightmares
BLAST VICTIM Eve Senior, 16, and, inset, after bomb attack
family, and has found ways to try to keep the nightmares at bay.
She says: “Sleeping is what has changed the most. I can deal with it during the day, because I’m awake and I can tell myself to stop being stupid.
“When you’re asleep you don’t really have any control over what you dream about. But I’ve got good at it now.
“I wake up and I put my TV on and I turn the volume down to zero, so it is still playing in the background, but I can go back to sleep.”
She adds: “What I’ve found, with trauma, is things come back slowly.
“At the start it was all like a big cloud, I didn’t remember anything.
“And then a month later I would remember a little bit more.”
Compassionate Eve was for a long time troubled by the thought of a fellow victim of the blast.
Moments after the explosion, as Eve regained consciousness, she saw a woman lying motionless beside her.
She was later plagued by nightmares, fearing the stranger might have died and wondering if she could have helped to save her – despite her own horrific trauma and injuries.
She says: “After I landed, and when I first woke up, I saw this woman who was lying with her eyes closed next to me – and I kept having bad dreams all the time, thinking ‘is she alive?’”
Eve confided in her victim support worker, who tracked down the woman to help put her mind at rest.
Eve says: “He went and found the woman. Thankfully she only had bruises, and she’d been having the same bad dreams about not helping me. As soon as I knew she was OK, she disappeared from my dreams.”
The bomber’s name is never mentioned in Eve’s family home in Queensbury, West Yorks. “He doesn’t deserve a name,” she says.
And she is in no mood for forgiveness. “I don’t forgive, I won’t forget about what happened – but I will try and forget about him.
“I’ll never be able to forgive him – not for what he has done to me, but for all the people who died.
“I’m lucky, I can fight back against him, but those who died can’t and it’s not fair.
“I’m going to be a nurse, I wear what I want, I do what I want – he’s not winning.
“What has he actually gained? was just pointless.”
Two years on, she faces months of plastic surgery on the scars left on her legs and body from the burns and flying shards of metal.
She will need up to seven operations to minimise the visible reminders of that dreadful night.
She says: “In the long run it’ll be worth it. On the night it happened they were in a bit of a rush just to close the wounds up – they didn’t have time to think about them looking nice. Now they can start making them smaller and less wide.”
Only recently has Eve felt confident enough to wear a skirt again without covering her legs in three layers of tights, afraid others would stare at the wounds.
She also had to contend with
EVE SENIOR ON MOVING ON FROM ARENA HORROR
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bullying from girls who were jealous of the attention she received from the photo taken on the night of the attack.
But with support from her sister, mum, dad Andrew, 43, and her school, she has moved on and is optimistic for the future, determined to make the most of every opportunity.
“I probably took life a lot more for granted before,” she says. “But now I think about life and how short it is.”
At her school prom this summer, Eve plans to adorn her hair with ornaments shaped like bees – the symbol of Manchester.
Cuddling the family’s new labradoodle puppy – appropriately called Bee – she explains her poignant choice, saying: “It will be a tribute the girls who died in the attack. They didn’t get to go to their school prom.”
I’m going to be a nurse, I wear & do what I want – he’s not winning