WHAT DO I DO ABOUT MY AFFAIR?

Dear Coleen

I’m a man aged 40 and have got myself into a real mess with a colleague.

I’ve been having a fling with a girl who works for me and another female colleague saw us kissing and is now threatening to tell my wife.

I can’t stand this woman – she’s spiteful and she made a pass at me at a Christmas do, which I rejected, and she’s been bitter ever since.

I’ve told her to back off and mind her own business or I’ll be forced to tell the company boss about her behaviour. She doesn’t think I will because I have too much to lose if the affair is exposed and I’ll look like a fool.

I know I shouldn’t be having an affair and this situation has made me realise how much I have to lose. What’s your opinion?

Coleen says

My opinion is you should spend more time working and less time playing the office Romeo. At the risk of sounding judgmental, you’ve only got yourself to blame! This woman sounds like a bully. Yes, you could tell your boss in the hope she’ll back off and focus on her job instead of your marriage. Do I think he’ll be impressed by your behaviour? No, I don’t.

You certainly won’t be covering yourself in glory with this one.

But I think the more important point is what you’re going to do about your marriage.

This is what you really need to address and, if you don’t want to lose your wife, then you need to put an end to the affair immediately.

Whether you admit it to your wife or not is your call, but you have to be honest with yourself about what led you to have the affair in the first place.