I used to do a lot of sex jokes because it was a big thing for me but now I’d have to strain my memory
He and Lisa soon split in another room of her house. He had a stab at marriage when he was 33 and wed 19-year-old Lisa Jones, a student at Halesowen College in the West Midlands where he was a lecturer.
It lasted less than a year and Frank, who is a devout Catholic, has since had the marriage annulled.
He would love to get married again, but Cath has declined his proposal four times. He says: “I didn’t plan the proposals, they were sort of, ‘Do you fancy getting married?’
“I didn’t do the thing that people do now of hiding a wedding ring inside an owl, then say, ‘Let’s go for a walk at the local zoo’ and watch as the owl coughs it up.
“I didn’t go down on one knee – not at my age, not if I’d have to be helped back up.” Will he ask again?
“I wouldn’t write it off.”
He refuses to paint a showbiz gloss on his relationship with Cath, admitting it has been volatile and they have needed counselling. He says: “One of the things I learned was that I was trying to mould Cath into what I thought would be an easier fit.
“The first thing the counsellor said to me is, ‘Cath is not going to make major changes. You either go out with Cath as she is, or you need to go out with someone else’.
“I became much more accepting. I wouldn’t say Cath’s much more accepting of me. She’s been trying to reform me ever since.
“But I do also think relationships work better if one of the people does most of the giving in.
“I decided I was FRANK SKINNER GETS EMOTIONAL going to be the person who gave in. You get used to it. And you realise that actually, none of it matters too much.” Cath can still reduce Frank to tears. He says: “I cry a lot, like when England won the Cricket World Cup.
“But the last time I cried because I was sad would have been if me and Cath had a really, really bad row and hadn’t spoken for a couple of days. That is something I can’t handle. It happens much less than it did, I’m glad to say. “Cath is my kryptonite.”
Frank is proud of his West Bromwich roots, which are quite dark.
He was expelled from school at 16 for re-selling dinner tickets, worked in factories for a couple of years and sank into alcoholism.
After gaining two university degrees, he quit booze and showed his gift for Johnson or Corbyn?
“I’ve voted Labour my whole life. I’m not sure if I’ll vote Labour in the next election. But I definitely won’t vote Tory.”
A BAFTA or England to win the World Cup?
comedy on stage in local clubs. In 1991, just four years after he had started in stand-up, he won the Edinburgh Festival’s prestigious Perrier Award, and TV fame quickly followed.
Frank has never been tempted to have a make-over to look less Baggie and more Beverly Hills.
But in many ways he is not as he seems. His real name is Christopher Graham Collins, but even his best “I’d love a BAFTA – what do you think I am?”
Baddiel or Coogan?
“Baddiel”
Stand up or chat show?
“Stand up.”
Ant or Dec?
“That’s cruel. That’s really tough. Dec.” Pictures: DAVID CHESKIN MAYBE Corbyn fr sa
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I cry a lot, like when England won the Cricket World Cup
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