DAD’S LEFT MONEY TO A NEIGHBOUR
Dear Coleen
My dad was always a difficult, manipulative man. Myself, my brother and our mother found life with him hard. He had an awful temper and he would blow hot and cold with family members, playing them off against each other and having favourites.
My mother died 10 years ago and my brother and dad fell out soon after.
Three years ago, I had a huge falling out with him myself and we stopped speaking. Around this time, he became friendly with a neighbour who was 30 years younger than him.
There was nothing romantic going on – that I know of – but she started popping in all the time and helping him with chores and shopping. I always suspected she was taking advantage of him. He recently died and he’s left everything to this neighbour. I’m so upset and want to contest the will, but my husband says there’s little point.
Coleen says
Well, if it makes you feel better, you should certainly get some legal advice about contesting the will. You could pay for an hour of a solicitor’s time to see if you have a case, what going to court would involve and how much it would cost you. Then you can figure out if you think it’s worth the money and emotional hassle.
If your neighbour has only been around a short while, then you may have a good case, especially because she has got your mother’s money too. But get some advice first.
Either way, you say your dad was manipulative and controlling in his lifetime, but don’t let him be in death. You can now begin the process of trying to cut yourself off from him emotionally and move on from what sounds like a toxic relationship.
I can understand your frustration. But then again I’m also one for believing that people are entitled to do what they want with their own money. If your dad wanted to leave all his money to the local cats’ home, ultimately that’s his right to do so.
What I think is happening here is that even on his death bed, your father managed to upset and manipulate you.
But you have a lovely husband, so – whatever you decide – try to move on and be happy. That’s the best revenge of all.