HE PROMISES TO LEAVE WIFE ...BUT WHEN?

Dear Coleen

I’m 46 and divorced, and I’ve fallen in love with a man at work.

He’s 50 and married with three teenage children. He’s gorgeous, funny and kind, and we meet up once a week for dinners and drinks, and he stays at mine.

He talks about leaving his wife all the time, but when I push him to do so, he says he’d rather wait until his children have all gone through university and left home because he’s a good dad and his kids mean the world to him.

I’m beginning to lose patience though because I want to be with him more than once a week.

If he’s so unhappy with his wife, why is he staying?

How can I convince him to make the break? I’ve never been in love like this before and I know we’re meant for each other.

Coleen says

How lovely. You’re asking me how you can split up a family?

You need to have a word with yourself. Because you can’t, and you shouldn’t, so don’t. You knew what you were signing up to when you began this affair. And be realistic – he’s having some fun once a week, while having the lovely family at home. He’s not going anywhere, love. And I doubt you’re the first either.

If he’s the type of man to do this to his wife, he’d be doing the same to you before long.

It’s far better to walk away now and let him decide what he wants to do about his marriage.

If he does leave her, then at least it won’t be to do with you.

You also say you’ve never felt love like this before. But you’re romanticising him because you only see him occasionally.