VETS NEED POPPY CASH
Thank you for your responses to last week’s column on the UK’s 10 biggest military charities sitting on a money mountain while thousands of vets struggle.
As expected, it struck a chord with many of you who willingly donate for the fallen and wear your poppies with pride.
Yet little has been made of what remains a national scandal. To recap, the charities already have combined assets of over £1.4billion – with reserves of nearly £280million.
Yet up to 3% of the people sleeping rough in England are ex-servicemen and women. It means around 3,500 homeless veterans across Britain are not getting the support they are entitled to. A figure that the cash could easily cope with.
On top of all that, over 60,000 armed forces vets in the UK have either broken the law, found themselves homeless or are suffering from mental health issues.
The stats suggest 10,000 are in prison, on parole or on probation after turning to crime. Surprisingly little has been done since the revelation of the figures that stunned so many people last week. But let’s hope it does not deter people from either collecting for, or contributing to, the brave men and women that have done so much for this country.
Charlie Bishop watches quietly as his bubbly daughter, Hollie, paints a picture. It shows four golden sunflowers floating in a big blue sky – for Daddy, Hollie, Lara (Charlie’s partner) and their dog, Piper.
“This is me and that one is Daddy,” says Hollie, nine, pointing to the two flowers close together in the corner. “That’s amazing, darling,” beams Charlie, 32, giving her a hug. But inside his heart is breaking. Because Daddy’s sunflower is slipping below the horizon in the achingly poignant picture – just as Charlie is slipping out of his beautiful daughter’s life.
He is dying from a brain tumour and has just months to live. Doctors warned he may not even spend another Christmas with Hollie.
“There is so much we won’t get to do together,” says Charlie quietly. “I’m never going to see Hollie graduate and I won’t be able to walk her down the aisle – something we both want so much.
“She is such a Daddy’s girl. She knows I love her more than anything in the world and I don’t want to leave her. But Hollie is a smart kid, and she knows I am going to die.” I’m chatting with Charlie at Sue Ryder Leckhampton Court hospice, in Gloucestershire, one of seven run by the charity which recently carried out research into society’s last great taboo – talking about death. As we revealed yesterday, 70% of Brits have not discussed their death with relatives, 68% have not written a will and fewer than 10% have planned their funeral.
ACHARLIE BISHOP WHO IS DYING FROM CANCER
nd the charity claims dodging “the D-word” can stop us “dying well.” Dodging the D-word is no longer an option for Charlie, who was diagnosed in 2012 with a rare tumour in his brain and spinal cord.
But he has seen the fear in others when he tries to talk about his cancer and says death denial makes it harder for the terminally ill to live out their days.
So he asked to tell his story in a bid to tackle the stigma and as “a love letter to Hollie”.
And his courage, candour and humour were inspirational. Charlie and his dad ran a removal business when he became ill. He says: “Doctors thought it was anxiety but
I got sent for tests and an MRI scan showed a golf-ball sized tumour in my brain.
“I had surgery and they took the top bit out but as it was also in my spinal cord they couldn’t remove it all.”
He had chemotherapy and radiotherapy and somehow, in the midst of treatment, managed to raise £10,000 for charity by doing a mass skydive with pals. But then he was told the cancer was grade III.
He says: “I remember the surgeon saying the world ‘terminal’ but also ‘treatment’. My mind went, ‘Right, now you know what you’re dealing with. Just do whatever they tell you’.
“I was on the edge of a diving board with absolutely no choice but to jump off – and I couldn’t think about what would happen when I hit the water.
“I trusted the doctors, but I had absolutely no control. My dad was there asking lots of questions but I was thinking only of that first step.
“I didn’t ask, ‘Am I going to die?’ and the doctor didn’t use the word. It’s still a social taboo. Now I realise that just makes things harder.
“On TV a ‘terminal cancer patient’ is someone lying in bed on a drip with no hair. But I look normal, except I’m not ‘me’ anymore.
“When someone asks, ‘How are you?’ I think do they expect an answer? Because I have friends who just can’t handle talking about it. But it’s worse when people go into denial and say, ‘Oh, you’ll be fine!’
“I want to scream, ‘No, I won’t and I’ll prove it... by dying’. Maybe I should do a little ‘Told you so!’ video for afterwards.”
But how do we get better at talking about dying? Charlie says: “By listening to people who are. Let them steer the conversation without shutting them down because it’s awkward for you. It’s
Death is still a taboo subject but that makes things even harder