Gregg Wallace’s Magical Christmas Market, C5 ★★★★
All right Gregg, calm down - it’s just a carrot
Far be it from me to suggest Gregg Wallace might be somewhat self-obsessed, but there did appear to be a theme running through this festive documentary.
When Gregg was invited to make a snow globe he went for your standard chubby bald snowman, but added a pair of round black glasses to personalise the design.
Then when he was asked to decorate a Krampus biscuit, he turned it into a Greggicus biscuit, although why he liked the idea of himself as a mythical half-human, half-goat, cloven-hooved monster that terrorises young children is anyone’s guess.
What we can say without doubt
after watching this tour of Vienna is that Gregg is easily pleased. You only had to witness his joy when he was allowed to feed carrots to a couple of the horses at the city’s famous Spanish riding school.
“That was a wonderful Christmas present for me!” Gregg boomed at the groom, whose face seemed to be saying whatever the Austrian German is for, “All right mate, calm down – it’s just a carrot”.
Gregg was even more taken with Vienna’s
Christmas markets. He visited several during his trip and quickly ran out of ways to describe them.
They were either “stunning” or “beautiful” or – if he was feeling particularly inspired – “stunningly beautiful”.
The highlight of his trip, however, was the giant cake stall.
“Woah! Have you ever SEEN a doughnut as big as THAT?!” he yelled. Yes we have, Gregg. On MasterChef, Inside The Factory, Eat Well For Less…