Who the hell told you that?
8. “They have been teaching me how to walk – I’m terrible at that. I
Who liked a puff?
walk a bit like a farmer, one of the directors said.”
9. “I’m very happy [being single]. I call it being self-partnered.”
10. “It sucks this wasn’t the perfect ending that people were hoping for but I truly believe we would never have made everyone happy.”
11. “The best motto is not to waste things. Don’t waste electricity, don’t waste paper, don’t waste food – live the way you want but don’t waste.”
12. “I would have definitely made a lot more money if I’d been a hooker, not a singer.”
13. “To my parents in Liverpool... I didn’t invite them because I didn’t think this was to be my time... I’m sorry and I’m bringing this home.”
14. “I was slightly distracted by the wig and fake teeth you have in.”
15. “As Bruce, I was doing everything for everyone but here everyone is offering to make my tea. This girl thing is working out pretty good.”
Donald Trump had plenty to say
16. “I shaved and I wiped my a*se, and paid other people to do everything else for me.”
17. “It’s... Rebekah Vardy’s account.”
18. “Do you want to have a squirt on the cake.” 19. “I didn’t sweat because I had suffered what I would describe as an overdose of adrenaline in the Falklands War, when I was
ECO WORRIER Greta Thunberg
EARTH ACHE Who said waste not?
shot at and I simply... it was almost impossible for me to sweat.”
20. “We are on different paths but I will always be there for him and I know he will always be there for me. We don’t see each other as much as we used to because we are so busy but I love him dearly.”
21. “In university days he used to cook all sorts of meals. That was when he was trying to impress me. Things like bolognese sauces.”
22. “As every father will ever say, your baby is absolutely amazing but this little thing is absolutely to-die-for, so I’m over the moon.”
23. “In normal conditions I would have no difficulty in seeing traffic coming from the Dersingham
SPONGE BLOB Who offered the chance of a squirt on a cake? direction but I can only imagine I failed to see the car and I am very contrite about the consequences.”
24. “Not bad for a boy from a Stevenage council house.”
25. “Three months of partying affected me, what can I say?”
26. “I’ve tried to compete, perform and to beat myself, and think I have found a formula that works.”
27. “Moments like that don’t come along very often.”
28. “We have a lot of problems in our country. But this team is from so many backgrounds and came together to achieve one goal.”
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29. “The eyes of future generations are upon you. If you fail us, we will never forgive you.”
30. “It was something that I had never expected. It was a bedtime story I made up for my daughter.”
31. “Room for improvement.”
Best of the rest