Dear Coleen

HE BLAMES ME AFTER I WALKED OUT ON MY JOB

I walked out of my job a few months ago. I couldn’t stand it – the people, the long hours, the lack of respect and appreciation. It felt like a huge weight had lifted, but I didn’t have a plan for what to do next.

Since then, I’ve been out of work and it has had a big impact on my husband and me financially, as I earned a decent salary and paid for half of everything. On the upside, I’ve been able to spend more time with our son, who’s eight.

We’re skint though and my husband blames me for leaving my job with nothing else to go to. He says I should have made a plan and found another job first, but I couldn’t stand being there another minute. I’m going to start looking properly in the New Year, but I resent my husband for not being more understanding and supportive. Can you help?

Coleen says

I think most of us have been there, working in a job we hate, and if you stay somewhere that you feel overworked and under appreciated it really can have a huge effect on your self-esteem and lead to depression.

Of course, the ideal scenario is to have something else to go to, but that ship has sailed, so what you have to focus on now is the future. With the New Year upon us, you have a good opportunity to launch yourself back into the job market after a break over the Christmas period.

So, sit down with your husband, explain your decision as best you can and come up with a plan together instead of retreating to your separate corners and allowing resentment to grow.

Here’s the thing, life is going to throw up challenges – some big, some smaller. If you want your marriage to last you have to work through these issues together.