WATTS’ WEEK
Halina Watts reflects on the week in showbiz
Monday lols
In one of Hollywood’s most hilarious moments, Golden Globes host Ricky Gervais provided a masterclass in how to ridicule celebrities.
He told a room of A-listers: “If you win an award tonight, don’t use it as a platform to make a political speech.
“You’re in no position to lecture the public about anything, you know nothing about the real world. Most of you spent less time in school than Greta Thunberg.”
Still, Cambridge-educated funnyman Sacha Baron Cohen ignored his advice, taking a swipe at Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg while introducing Jojo Rabbit, a satire about Nazi Germany.
He said: “The hero of this next movie is a naive, misguided child who spreads Nazi propaganda and only has imaginary friends. His name is Mark Zuckerberg,” before adding, “Sorry this is an old intro for The Social Network.”
Tuesday rock ’n’ rollin’
Everyone loves a rock ’n’ roll biopic. Rocketman was a blockbuster and Bohemian Rhapsody became the highest grossing music biopic of all time. Now Bob Dylan can rejoice in having his early life turned into a Hollywood film.
Actor Timothée Chalamet – of Call Me by Your Name and Little Women fame – was announced as being in talks to play young Bob when he moved from folk to embrace the electric guitar with the film provisionally named Going Electric.
The 24-year-old shares an uncanny resemblance to the music legend, now 78, including an inability to grow any proper facial hair.
Wednesday controversy
Hollywood is always banging on about diversity – and, rightly so – but in an ironic turn of events the BAFTAs shortlist for this year’s acting gongs was exclusively white. Oh dear.
Nominees include Margot Robbie, who gets two nods, and Joaquin Phoenix, for his role in Joker.
But Andrew Onwubolu, the director of Blue Story, said the absence of black nominees was “ridiculous”. He added: “The only time black faces are seen in the BAFTAs is in the rising star category.
“It’s meant to be an award for British films, but all they ever seem to do is follow what they think will do well at the Oscars.”
BAFTA chief executive Amanda Berry also blasted the all-male best director shortlist. What. A. Mess.
Thursday feeling
Britain’s most famous OAP was left fuming after her rebelrousing grandson and his wife hastily decided to quit The Firm. But the Queen may have enjoyed some light relief if she’d tuned in to ITV’s This Morning where actor Miriam Margolyes mused about the time she once met HRH at Buckingham Palace.
“The Queen came over to me and asked me what I did. And, like a tw*t, I said, ‘I’m the best reader of stories in the whole world’.”
The word – which rhymes with fat – drew gasps from hosts Holly Willoughby and Phillip Schofield,
who immediately apologised to viewers. But unconcerned Miriam finished the anecdote without pause.
“She [the Queen] went like that [rolls eyes]. And she immediately left me and went to the next person and asked, ‘what do you do?’ “He said, ‘I teach dyslexic children to read’.
“I stood next to him and said, ‘Really, how fascinating’. She [the Queen] turned to me and said, ‘Be quiet’.”
Pausing for laughter, Miriam, added: “She had every right but it was discombobulating.”
Exactly how the Queen must be feeling this week.
Friday fantasy
Cinderella always wanted to go to the ball – and now she will go to the West End too.
Andrew Lloyd Webber has teamed up with Killing Eve scriptwriter Emerald Fennell to create a witty new version of the Disney fable.
He said: “Emerald has written something truly exciting and original.” The production is to open in London this summer in the Gillian Lynne Theatre, currently home to Lloyd Webber’s School of Rock.
Let the magic commence...