Dear Coleen

HOW CAN I TELL GAY GRANDSON I’M OK WITH IT?

I’ve just found out that my grandson thinks he’s gay as he’s told his parents he’s only attracted to boys. I’m not a judgmental person at all, but I do worry about him getting himself in situations where he’s attacked or bullied for his sexuality.

I love him dearly and he is a very loving and caring person. I want to discuss the situation with him, but don’t know where to begin. I just want him to be happy.

Can you help?

Coleen says

I think you should begin how you’ve ended your letter to me – tell him all you want is for him to be happy, you accept him, you love him and you’re there for him should he ever need support.

Tell him he doesn’t need to discuss it with you if he doesn’t want to, but to know that your door is always open. That’s all he needs to hear.

It’s brave to come out and, obviously, as parents and grandparents we worry about our kids bumping into horrible people. However, as someone with a teenager and two sons in their 20s and 30s, I can reassure you that young people these days have a much more evolved approach to sexuality.

And if he surrounds himself with good people, he’ll have confidence and support. Yes, there are ignorant people in this world, but they can’t stop your grandson being who he wants to be.

It might help to get in touch with FFLAG, an organisation that supports families and their lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans daughters and sons (fflag.org.uk). There are some useful downloads on the site, including A Guide For Family And Friends.