Getting loaded before you fly

Hypocrisy of the House laid bare

That’s why he has no qualms in following the Trump blueprint. When the EU doesn’t bow to his demands in trade talks he will portray it as Brits being bullied. Those in the media who push that line will be embraced, while those who don’t will be vilified as traitors and banished.

The same perversion of patriotism will apply when he puts the NHS on the table in talks with America.

I’m not saying this will end with Dominic Cummings dressed in a kimono reading out the news North Korean-style.

But government policy being tweeted on the Downing Street crapper during Johnson’s morning constitutional?

You betcha bottom dollar.

So many questions surround David Cameron’s bodyguard leaving a loaded gun in a plane’s toilet.

Does he keep a bodyguard in case he bumps into Danny Dyer? How come we’re banned from taking a normal-sized tube of toothpaste on board in case we use it to kill people, yet Cameron’s minder can take on a Glock semi-automatic pistol with 15 rounds in it?

Will that gun be used at European airports next year when Cameron strolls towards the empty dignitaries’ channel past thousands of Brits forced to stand in long non-EU citizens queues because of him?

And did the bodyguard leave the pistol next to a glass of whisky in the hope that Cameron would finally do the decent thing?

This is the man sacked from The Times for making up a quote

Iain Duncan Smith was spotted picking a bogey from his nose and eating it in the Commons chamber, Jacob Rees-Mogg sprawled across the front benches like a Hooray Henry who’d had too much Pimm’s, Ken Clarke used to look after lunch as though his gut was about to break an ill-fitting shirt, and Michael Fabricant wears something on his head last seen on a 1970s’ Burton’s dummy.

All offensive, but little was said about the Tory male MPs’ appearance. Yet Labour female MP Tracy Brabin dares to wear a £35 ASOS dress that leaves one of her shoulders bare and she’s called a shameless slapper who disrespects the dignity of the mother of all Parliaments.

Same as it ever was.

SLATED MP Tracy Brabin

He needs to get rid of the vice tag first