Billie likes being aloneish

Teenagers are Skyping, Face Timing and Zooming to stay in touch with pals – but one 18-year-old can’t think of anything worse.

Bond theme singer Billie Eilish says she is being “introverted and lonerish” while in self-isolation.

She adds: “I’ve been really enjoying being alone. I feel like everybody on the internet has been on FaceTime all day long with their friends.

“I love my friends, I can’t wait to see them, I do miss them a lot, but at the same time... I’m good.

“I’m good being alone – I like being alone.” Not quite alone, actually, as the US singer – who had a No.1 with No Time To Die – has fostered two pit bull puppies to accompany her during isolation. She told the Telekom Electronic Beats podcast that caring for Miss Mardy and Jim is a “full time job”.

She says: “There’s such a misconception about them. They’re sweethearts, they cuddle.”

Billie thinks the gratitude at being set free after lockdown won’t last long.

She says: “As soon as we can see people again and go out, we’re going to be so happy and grateful... and in about three days, we’re all going to take it for granted again.

“That’s the way people work. It’s the way humans are made.

“You miss something so bad once you don’t have it... You never think about it when you have it.”

Billie is definitely an old soul.

Washing your hands needn’t be a chore, as Paddy McGuinness and his wife

Christine proved. They lathered up to recreate the pottery scene from film Ghost. But Paddy reckons he’s put on so much weight, he can’t see his privates. “In every prison movie I’ve seen, people tend to come out of isolation in peak physical condition,” he grumbles.