Twitch on to front rooms of famous
WE’RE all finding ourselves doing unusual things at the moment. And so, I wasn’t that surprised when some friends told me they’ve started shouting, “Get rid of that f***ing cushion!” at their telly, on a regular basis.
In fact, I wasn’t surprised at all. I knew exactly why, and they had my full support.
Now everyone’s broadcasting from their front rooms, I’ve become obsessed with the 2020 form of curtain twitching. Coronan twitching, if you will.
The soft furnishing provoking the expletives belongs to a nice medical expert who is currently a Newsnight regular. It’s on the sofa, behind her, and has the words, “Sea you in the morning” stitched over a wave pattern.
Babes, if you’re reading, it has to go, OK?
Krishnan Guru-Murthy, who has been co-presenting Channel 4 News from his home was aware of Coronan twitching from the off.
“Obviously you don’t want to show very much of your house because you don’t want everyone judging your home decor,” he said.
“I spent some time the night before rearranging my front room to hide books because I knew that everyone would just want to see the bookshelves.” If only he’d passed this wisdom on to the Sky
News paper review contributor who clearly hadn’t given a thought to his messy bookcase. The only title you could make out as he spoke was a massive HITLER just above his right ear.
Two weeks into my new hobby - nay, raison d’etre - and I can confirm Labour MP John McDonnell’s unusually chintzy decor is definitely the weirdest.
Every single thing in Matt Baker from The One Show’s front room is in a fawn palette, including his matching pheasant cushions.
Vanessa Feltz does her interviews with an urn behind her, that it is impossible not to presume contains someone’s – but whose ???? – ashes.
Paul Merton has an extremely extensive DVD collection. Former Home Secretary Jacqui Smith has a crockery display, and what appears to be a wreath decorated with lemons on the wall. Although it’s hard to tell exactly, because – tantalisingly - only the corner of it is in shot. Underneath it, however, a framed photo of her on holiday wearing a jazzy hat is clearly visible.
Fred from First Dates appeared on This Morning in front of an absolutely massive set of curtains, giving the impression he lives in a crematorium.
Sometimes someone’s interiors can change how you feel about them, too – I found myself almost warming to Jeremy Hunt after seeing the Farrow and Ball shade of his Boot Room and admiring a bicycle.
Coronan twitching is obviously a diversion tactic, or maybe even self-care. There are only so many times you can stare at each other in horror as awful news and statistics are announced and discussed, or put your heads in your hands, and despair.
Eventually saying “nasty pelmets” instead is the light relief currently essential.
We’ve never needed to be distracted more.
A special mention must go to the Economics expert from Oxford University who did a bleak interview with a levitating cactus in a plant pot behind her, which span around, mid-air, as she talked.
Coronan twitching is important, then – maybe even vital. But still, it will only take us so far.
Whatever happens in future, there will be some places – those we are most desperate to see – that we will never gain access to In other words, Emily Maitlis isn’t letting us in to her kitchen, ever.
First Date Fred’s curtains give the impression he lives in a crematorium