Dear Coleen

HAD ENOUGH OF HIS FACEBOOK FLIRTING

I’ve been with my boyfriend for two and a half years and we moved in together last summer. We have a really good relationship – he’s brilliant fun, very caring and kind, and I do love him.

However, the same issue keeps cropping up – his addiction to flirting with his many female Facebook friends – and it’s become even more of a problem in recent weeks now that absolutely everyone is socialising online.

I don’t think for a minute that he’s ever done anything with these girls or ever would, but I think it’s disrespectful to me and to our relationship. He never says anything sleazy or inappropriate – it’s more just complimentary or cheeky comments, but it’s definitely flirtatious. When I’ve brought it up he just says it’s his sociable personality and that I’m overreacting. Am I?

Coleen says

Maybe he likes his ego being massaged. I think it’s a bit of a cop out to say “It’s my personality” – I’m not sure that’s ever been a watertight defence!

The point is, he may be a sociable, outgoing guy, but the way he’s interacting with other girls online is upsetting you and he should take that seriously if he’s committed to you.

He doesn’t have to stop being the life and soul of the online party, but I think it should be possible for him to tone down the flirting.

Maybe what you need to do is point out the types of comments you think cross the line and explain why you don’t like them and why they might give other people the wrong idea.

And ask him what he would think if you were posting similar flirtatious comments on male friends’ pages.